Fairytales are all but lies ?
Frodo: I can't do this Sam.
Sam: I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.
Frodo: What are we holding on to Sam?
Sam: That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for.
- Lord of the Rings. The Two Towers.
To all NSFs out there, none of us want to do what we are doing now but too bad we have to. So keep your spirits up and our ORD will come sooner than expected. Always remember, its definately worth fighting for. I have to say most of you guys are very lucky to be able to go thru NS smoothly unlike yours truely here. Plagued by injuries and always being in the wrong place at the wrong time is just too much for me to take. It only rubs it in when only last wee, I was given a posting of my dream and barely 24hrs into the course, I will be forced to be out of course because of a wound that fails to recover in time. I hate it when fate plays such a big joke on me yet again. Why must it always be me la fuk !?
Yes I'm feeling damn depressed and fuk up now. All the drive & motivation to become a welfare commander that used to keep me going is now gone along with the infectious pus that the doc drew out from my wound. I will just make do with what new posting that OC will give me this coming friday. Just suck thumb, serve my term and then get lost. I know I have let myself and the people around me down but I'm just not strong enough to pick myself up this time around. Never in my life, I suffer from this "defeated mood" for so long. Maybe this is a growing up process or be it a test of faith but what ever the case it, please grant me the strength to get back on my feet. If not SAF is really going to lose a willing NSF. =P
*Fate may deal a lousy hand now but the wheel of fortune is always spinning. When will it be my turn ?~Nil Sine Labore
The 2nd phase of NS
9 weeks BMT is over in a blink of an eye. The one week break passed hell lot faster man. Come Monday will be the time to report to my new home, Pasir Leba camp, school of infantry specialist (SISPEC). Many people find sergeants as half fuck soldiers as in chiong a lot but the rank also not very high so many people feel that it’s not worth the effort. Personally, I’m in fact quite happy that I got posted to SISPEC. A part of me was pretty disappointed that I didn’t make it to OCS because I was aiming to be a regular Air force officer. But the good thing about my posting is that being a sergeant is a journey that I’m sure I will enjoy. Firstly, I don’t see myself as officer material. I don’t enjoy being high up in the ranks and doing the planning and talking. I’m more of the type of person who slogs it out with his men in the blazing sun and enduring the same shit along side them. I’m one who enjoys being in the thick of the action. I want to be there for my men personally to inspire them when things are not going right. Yes this is the real Y X Lee.
I have picked up several life lessons during BMT. One of them is that there is no point trying to be the best if you jolly well know you won’t enjoy being one or just simply not good enough to be among the best. A very good example will be the “OCS or SISPEC” issue that bothers most privates that just passed out from BMT. Why be an officer if you know that yourself is the CMI (cannot make it) type. If you only want to go there for the much more attractive pay or simply enjoy 50 men greeting you “good morning sir!” every morning then please think again. And if you (CMI type) don’t get into OCS please don’t go around complaining that you cannot go OCS because SAF is biased or fuked up. I think the only fuked up party will be you. There are so many other people who truly deserved to go OCS but failed to make it for what so ever reason. They are the people who have the rights to complain and not you. The ironic part is that these people don’t whine about it. They just take whatever vocation that they are posted to in their strides and move on.
I’m glad that I belong to the CMI group of losers no more. I’m not ashamed to admit I used to be one of them but lucky not anymore. I definitely have a clearer picture of what I want in my life now compared to 9-10 weeks ago. Like they say, Army is where boys become men. 9 weeks of army life has indeed knocked some sense and maturity into my head. I know if given a choice most of us boys (including me) will not want to give 2 years of our lives to our army. Too bad we got no choice man, might as well let’s start doing it with some pride and try to enjoy the ride at the same time.
*With Pride we lead
~Nil Sine Labore
Greener on the other side.
We jump from planes and into the air
We rise from the swamps and hit whatever's there
We smile and stand tall as we proudly say
We are the Commandos of the red beret
We slide down ropes from hovering choppers
We slice 'em and dice 'em from Light Strike rovers
We mock them Commandos as we proudly say
We are the Guardsmen of the khaki beret
We walk long distances in heavy battle gear
We just do things even when orders aren't clear
We show the finger as we deridingly say
We are the Infantry of the green beret
We rush down the flanks in a surge of thrill
We blast our enemies from behind walls of steel
We mock those Infantry walking in the heat of day
We are the Armour of the black beret
We blast shells into the air and into the ground
We annhilate whoever has the misfortune of being around
At the very sight of our guns they all run away
We are the Artillery of the blue beret
We carry pink cards and they call us 'Mister'
We have heads full of hair; there's no need for the barber
We pity those NSFs who don't have the right to say
We are the civillians with no beret.
Does it really matter which vocation we get posted to ? Pink IC is still our common goal.
-Have you wondered why must we serve ?
- Because we have no choice lan lan have to serve. have to serve.
~Nil Sine Labore
The end of the beginning
Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day
Every time I pray
I will missing you
Looking back the days
Golden memories
Me and my buddy
in Cougar company
Oh cant you see
You belong to me
Cougar company
Cougar company
* SISPEC is where I wan to belong
~Nil Sine Labore
