My past, my side, no future.
The times we sat side by side.
Sharing about all that came & went.
I took her picture,
which remained for so long, even now.
Blinded by who I was,
I split the oak tree in two.
From there our world was destroyed.
You don't know how deep it went.
I need time to reflect.
Time to think about what was said.
About how those lies are truths.
About how I've felt all this while.
You don't know what it was like before.
The impact of those words penetrated deeply.
She told me everything I wanted to hear.
Now I'm at a loss of how I should feel.
So just give me one good reason.
Tell me how it's supposed to be.
Cuz I don't wanna spent another moment,
Saying things that was never meant to be said.
We both know the truths of our hearts.
Here's mine. I'm not over you.
* Still another 1.5 yrs to go
~Nil Sine Labore
I dun wanna lead an army life
The regimental way of life irks me.The people who keeps reminding me to behave till the point of irritance irks me even more.Like as if the way they behave are the real them. Being fake is the worst thing a person can be. So fuck off before i turn real nasty.
I hate the feeling of being stuck in a situation and powerless to do anything to change my own fate. I dun wan to just lan lan suck thumb till 070208.
I dun wanna lead an army life
I just wanna lead a simple life
OC say no no no,
PC say you cannot go,
Mummy I just wanna go home'O home
*DUN TELL ME WAT TO DO
~Nil Sine labore
The hospital window
Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.
Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.
The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.
The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.
As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.
One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it. In his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.
Days and weeks passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.
As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.
Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.
It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.
The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."
There is indeed tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Its better for one to suffer in silence rather than two to feel the pain together. It always pays to be strong and firm on the outside even if you are just pretending.
* I have it thought thru and my decision is final
~Nil Sine Labore
