Monday, March 20, 2006

Mind over Body. Fatigue is nothing!

My personal physical conditioning program has kick started yesterday. My daily exciting plan is as follows:
  1. Ard 2.5km around pasir ris park
  2. Rest for 2min
  3. X pull ups ( one additional pull up after every 2-3 days. X currently stands at 7 only)
  4. Soccer with the uncles at Pasir Ris Park. (on Sunday and Friday evenings only)
If you know me well, you should jolly know how much I hate running. It is a different story all together now. I have realised the joy of sweating it out along the pavement. The same joy that captivated the heart of runners all around the world. The rush of adrenaline during each run numbs the mind temporarily from the worries and sadness of the real world. The pure pleasure of pushing one beyond his own physical limitation can be achieved by running. The sense of acheivement that you will feel after breaking your previous timing is an really a "feel good" feeling.

Another possible reason I only start to enjoy running now could be because of some serious self reflection that I had after D day. The almightly mirror reminded me that I wasn't being fair to myself and other for the past 18 years of my life. For all the things that I have done, for how many did I really put in best effort? Only a handful I suppose. Most of the time, it was a half hearted effort and for that, more often than not, I will regret my action or rather lack of it at the end of the day.

I hate myself for being the coward that I was.
I hate myself for not putting in the extra effort in my schoolwork in the past.
I hate myself for not going that extra mile for some frens when they needed me most.
I hate myself for not daring to do the things that I truely believed in.
I hate myself for saying things that I do not meant when in midst of anger.
I hate myself for not having the courage to tell you how I feel about you then despite your initiative.

I'm not going to cry over spilled milk here. This is all part of growing up for us all. As much as I wanna go back in time and set things right, but it is just impossible. Besides, I only have 18 days of civilian life left in me. Mr time is never on my side all the time.

I have promised myself to give more than my best in everything I do starting from National Service (NS). Running gives me the perfect starting point to do so. Running allows me to keep pushing myself over the edge and this hopefully will prepare me for the bigger challenges ahead in NS. I want to limit the regrets that I might stumble upon in future to the lowest. Simply because regrets are not nice and they are bitter pills to swallow. I'm sure all of us feel the same about regrets right ?

Although this is a yet another fresh starting point in life for me, but there are parts of me that I promise will never ever change. My love for Arsenal FC is certainly is one of them. =)

*Love at first sight with running
~Nil Sine Labore

posted by the man @ 8:55 PM

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